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[personal profile] pywacket
I posted this on genderqueer but I wanted to remember it, so I'm putting it here too.

Em is a strapping lass, loud, active and opinionated. She's physically way ahead of things . She is often mistaken for a boy. Which doesn't bother me in the least but bothers those doing the mistaking no end. Yesterday at the doc's for example, she had on a blue outfit. Now em wears clothes from two of my friend's sons as well as friend's daughters. Hey, she's a baby, she spits up and poops on things and oh boy is that hell to get out of lacy bits...Anyway, I just dress her in things that match and don't care if it's pink or blue...but this nice man said "how old is he" and his wife said "that's a girl" and bopped him. He got all embarrassed and said "but he's wearing blue" I said yeah, it happens all the time, no worries. As soon as it sunk in that Em's a girl he went from being all hale and hearty and loud (Em had just gotten 4 month vaccinations) to being quiet and sweet and telling her it was going to be ok. And his attitude towards me (now he was a nice guy) (I was crying from Em getting her shots) went from "oh he's a big boy, he'll be ok." to "poor lil girl." and patting me.

Just a very interesting melange of gender cues and responses there hmmm?

I like that em's a girl --admittedly it scared me at first because my family has a bad track record with oldest daughters (back at least a couple of generations) and because there is still a lot for women to deal with (and I should know having been a sysadmin--still a boy's playing field) but there's all sorts of neat stuff we'll have the opportunity to do --shopping, makeup etc. Not that I wouldn't do that if I had a son if he were interested, but just off the bat there's some typically gendered stuff I'm looking forward to (I was 25 when I really discovered clothes and makeup and I really enjoy it now). I'm also looking forward to baseball (I was the only girl on a boy's team when I was young) and archery and fishing (I won awards for that as a kid). So girl clothes with kittens and such on it (especially the kitty stuff, d'uh) I like and they look cute on her, but so does a soccer outfit and bug hat.

She's wonderful no matter what she has on.

As she will be when she's a teenager and when she's an adult. And I hope she can be loud and quiet, scared and brave, wear slippers and big stompy boots--it's all good.
She can be herself--weird, not weird, spooky, punk, preppy, gay, straight, boy, girl...whatever she turns out to be--and we'll love her no matter what.

Date: 2002-08-18 10:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cagewench.livejournal.com
EXCELLENT POST!!!!!!!!!!!

I've only had one stranger inquire as to Torin's gender... and I was surprised just because I think he (now especially) looks very much like a lil man.

Though I have a few pics of him in a certain outfit that. combined with his positioning, was told that he looked somewhat gay. :>

Date: 2002-08-18 12:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cheekytubemouse.livejournal.com
Emily is extremely lucky to have a mom like you.

Yep

Date: 2002-08-18 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teaforme.livejournal.com
she sure is!

Date: 2002-08-19 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oblomova.livejournal.com
My older sisters are fraternal twins -- one has very straight, fine hair and the other really curly hair. When they were babies, people were always either thinking Colleen, the straight-haired one, was a boy, or asking my mom "Why did you perm that one's hair but not this one's?" When my mom got tired of the nosiness, she'd just answer "Well, see, I like that one better."

That shut 'em up. I mean, I know people mean well, but yeesh...

And I got your lovely note and photos today. Yes, we must try to get together very soonish!

Kerry

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