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yesterday sure was something
Jun. 9th, 2002 01:53 pmI went out...
yes out of the house, thanks to Miska..
we saw Carrie and got our hair cut. I look SO MUCH better and now I am not thinking of a permanent or dying my hair black. This haircut is the best one since the short bob I had last year...which of course, though it looked really good on me, I didn't like because it was too short. I don't feel enough like a girl with short hair. And it doesn't work so well playing Irish at renfaire...though of course it would be cooler.
It was great fun chatting at Carrie..though I always worry I talk too much..and I did yesterday too because I finally had an entire cup of coffee (first time since August 2001) and was very wired. I showed her the squinchy newborn picture of Emily and realized I needed to get a holder for more pictures because she's even cuter now. I love the newborn picture, but most folks think they all look alike and they do..of course except for Emily and my friends kids!
So Miska and I drove around and I notice I recognized more of Chicago, which is good. We also got a chance just to talk and learn more about each other which made me very happy (tho again, so starved am I for adult contact I think I talked way more than I listened, dammit) . And she took me to ULTA which is like an upscale Sally Beauty supply and I got stuff we needed and (ahem) some makeup I didn't.
And I must preface this next bit...I was having a great time. I was relaxed and laughing and felt like myself. Like myself...not pregnant and not with my darling velcro baby (so called because I hear a horrid ripping sound in my mind when I put her down) for the first time in almost a year...and this weird thought popped into my head...Simultaneously with missing her and needing to go back ( I could feel the tug almost literally)I had this thought of "I don't want to go back." I was horrified and teared up. But I was so relaxed and having fun with Miska and I was myself for the first time in so long and it was just so...normal feeling I guess.
I told James when I got home and he laughed and said Zombo had warned him of thoughts like that. But I felt rotten, like a bad mom.
James immediately handed her off and I held her and kissed her wee fat cheek and felt so in love and so guilty. But I'm guessing what I felt earlier was normal. Seems the darling bean had been having a rough day and she quieted down finally when I got home. Seems I smell like mom.
And she smiled at me.. and it was the most wonderful thing..I laughed out loud. So she didn't want to sleep more than two hours the whole day... nope. not at all. Just ate like a fiend and had to see everything. And cried a lot, poor baby dear..
but
drumroll please
she slept from 9 until 3...OH MY GOD. Then from 3:30 until 6 OH MY GOD!
I got uninterrupted sleep, since I went to bed at 10.. James even interrupted her at 1 to bring her upstairs and she stayed asleep!!!
It probably won't happen again for awhile, but it sure was cool... And a perfect ending to an almost perfect day.
James is out today seeing Star Wars...poor guy, it's all we can do for his birthday this year, tho I did remember father's day. I tried getting him Zim stuff but Hot Topic online wasn't working dangit. I'll try again with that later. Right now our gifts of baths, reading and game time and outtings with friends will have to do...and they are better than just about any material thing could be too.
So the bean doth awaken yet again for snacks..off I go.
yes out of the house, thanks to Miska..
we saw Carrie and got our hair cut. I look SO MUCH better and now I am not thinking of a permanent or dying my hair black. This haircut is the best one since the short bob I had last year...which of course, though it looked really good on me, I didn't like because it was too short. I don't feel enough like a girl with short hair. And it doesn't work so well playing Irish at renfaire...though of course it would be cooler.
It was great fun chatting at Carrie..though I always worry I talk too much..and I did yesterday too because I finally had an entire cup of coffee (first time since August 2001) and was very wired. I showed her the squinchy newborn picture of Emily and realized I needed to get a holder for more pictures because she's even cuter now. I love the newborn picture, but most folks think they all look alike and they do..of course except for Emily and my friends kids!
So Miska and I drove around and I notice I recognized more of Chicago, which is good. We also got a chance just to talk and learn more about each other which made me very happy (tho again, so starved am I for adult contact I think I talked way more than I listened, dammit) . And she took me to ULTA which is like an upscale Sally Beauty supply and I got stuff we needed and (ahem) some makeup I didn't.
And I must preface this next bit...I was having a great time. I was relaxed and laughing and felt like myself. Like myself...not pregnant and not with my darling velcro baby (so called because I hear a horrid ripping sound in my mind when I put her down) for the first time in almost a year...and this weird thought popped into my head...Simultaneously with missing her and needing to go back ( I could feel the tug almost literally)I had this thought of "I don't want to go back." I was horrified and teared up. But I was so relaxed and having fun with Miska and I was myself for the first time in so long and it was just so...normal feeling I guess.
I told James when I got home and he laughed and said Zombo had warned him of thoughts like that. But I felt rotten, like a bad mom.
James immediately handed her off and I held her and kissed her wee fat cheek and felt so in love and so guilty. But I'm guessing what I felt earlier was normal. Seems the darling bean had been having a rough day and she quieted down finally when I got home. Seems I smell like mom.
And she smiled at me.. and it was the most wonderful thing..I laughed out loud. So she didn't want to sleep more than two hours the whole day... nope. not at all. Just ate like a fiend and had to see everything. And cried a lot, poor baby dear..
but
drumroll please
she slept from 9 until 3...OH MY GOD. Then from 3:30 until 6 OH MY GOD!
I got uninterrupted sleep, since I went to bed at 10.. James even interrupted her at 1 to bring her upstairs and she stayed asleep!!!
It probably won't happen again for awhile, but it sure was cool... And a perfect ending to an almost perfect day.
James is out today seeing Star Wars...poor guy, it's all we can do for his birthday this year, tho I did remember father's day. I tried getting him Zim stuff but Hot Topic online wasn't working dangit. I'll try again with that later. Right now our gifts of baths, reading and game time and outtings with friends will have to do...and they are better than just about any material thing could be too.
So the bean doth awaken yet again for snacks..off I go.
