How does a heart break

I have many things written but all I want to to do really is look at the gentle grasp of the morning and tell myself I never slept. Because to sleep would be to admit his day passed. I will not let his day pass.

How could this happen to such a gentle soul.? I WILL look for violence in the next moment to expunge my anger. This small man. his heart contained more easy joy and comprehensible sadness than any one simple explanation.

Pass me away if you must as a writer of cat moments

Kindest kitten met me at 23 years old on junky street. A Giant German hooker said

Sie nehmen das kitty,

and I did.

He sprayed everywhere. I slept in the bathtub because he had to.. But somehow I knew he was my boy, no matter how he upset other folks. Hey, he laster longer than that guy.. And after scamming the NOb hill cat clinic. I may still owe them money...he was neutered... 16 years later he took a deep breath in my arms and though they warned me that he might loose control, I knew he wouldn't. He is much too particular for that and of course he didn’t.


I feel so guilty, I feel like he could have had a moment more. I've been told, by his doc and by Alex and James that it was right, but telling the doctor to give him the needle makes me fell like a , well like an executioner.

He taught me so much...
And he taught me about being gentle.
Because being gentle in my world isn't correct.

But Gentle is what I am and Gentle is what he's taught me.

I will hold his heart in me and hope to give it justice.

I cannot sleep tonight because, somehow that means he is gone.

He is a soul of kindness, open, friendly, trusting.

yes all of those

His comportment was excellent
He was always well turned out.
Proper and oh so polite. my boyo

His kindness and this moment we all want something like that in our lives...
this moment of giving of opening to the world...

ah...they all went to bed and I cannot because when I sleep that means I had his body in my hand, his fur in my hand yesterday.

I will not sleep until they make me. He is my boyo. His is my kindness.

Understand this, he is my kindness and my kindness died tonight at my own hand.

Thank you

Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I'm thinking of the days,
I won't forget a single day, believe me.

I bless the light,
I bless the light that lights on you believe me.
And though you're gone,
You're with me every single day, believe me.

Days I'll remember all my life,
Days when you can't see wrong from right.
You took my life,
And then I knew that very soon you'd leave me,
But it's all right,
Now I'm not frightened of this world, believe me.

I wish today could be tomorrow,
The night is dark,
It just brings sorrow, let it wait.

Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I'm thinking of the days,
I won't forget a single day, believe me.

I bless the light,
I bless the light that shines on you believe me.
And though you're gone,
You're with me every single day, believe me.

Days I'll remember all my life,
Days when you can't see wrong from right.
You took my life,
And then I knew that very soon you'd leave me,
But it's all right,
Now I'm not frightened of this world, believe me.
Days.

Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I'm thinking of the days,
I won't forget a single day, believe me.

I bless the light,
I bless the light that shines on you believe me.
And though you're gone,
You're with me every single day, believe me.
Days.

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