pywacket: (Default)
pywacket ([personal profile] pywacket) wrote2002-06-26 12:53 pm

and it's funny

that before I had miss Emily I thought attachment parenting was BS.
Now that she's here some of it I just do because it seems like the way to do things...and the way SHE wants things done. We have a bedside co sleeper and she slept in the bed for the first month or so. I hold her all the time --leaving her to cry seems wrong. I can't be as extreme as some, but some of it makes sense.

[identity profile] shadowfaegirl.livejournal.com 2002-06-26 10:56 am (UTC)(link)
Attachment Parenting is however you make it. However your family is comfortable, and you're a damn fine mommy! (fine meant in two ways. That last photo of you was simply gorgeous!)

[identity profile] pywacket.livejournal.com 2002-06-26 12:26 pm (UTC)(link)
you are going to cause my head to expand... ;-)

[identity profile] sarahisrock.livejournal.com 2002-06-26 10:59 am (UTC)(link)
what is extreme attachment parenting?
I practice ap, and am just curious as to what you consider extreme?(not out to argue, just being nosy)

[identity profile] pywacket.livejournal.com 2002-06-26 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm a little scared to answer that. I have my personal opinions about what is extreme--having a four year old sleeping in your room (on a regular basis) or never being apart from your child, for example. I think pacifiers and playpens have their place too, just not all the time. What's extreme for me may not be for another--

[identity profile] sarahisrock.livejournal.com 2002-06-26 12:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, don't be scared. I was just curious.
I guess you'd call me extreme then. My kid is 12 months old and sleeps in my bed with me and she is still nursing. She's never been in a playpen, except at someone's house to take a nap, and she never took to a pacifier.
But then that is what I feel is right for her as a child. And if she feels like she needs to snuggle up with me, even when she is 4, on a regular basis at night, well then that is what she needs.
Just my opinion...
Why do you feel like those are bad things?
I am not trying to convert you or judge you. Just wondering....

[identity profile] pywacket.livejournal.com 2002-06-26 02:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I just have some strong ideas about promoting independence in a child and how I think best to go about it. Of course things have to be modified as you go along, because the child will tell you what she needs as well. I don't think that children should be the center of a universe, but part of a family and that all family members have needs--for space, privacy, nuture etc--that need to be respected. I've seen people focus on children to the detriment of themselves and their spouses and don't want to go down that path.

For the record Emily doesn't much like the pacifier either nor do I try and give it to her often. But then she also didn't want to breastfeed and I wanted to do that. I may not have to worry too much about having an opinionated independant child.

[identity profile] mattblakk.livejournal.com 2002-06-26 08:45 pm (UTC)(link)
You are so wise. . . I agree. Blake is the wost bed partner anyone ever had.

When he's in my bed, he thinks it's party time, time to jump up and down, roll around and giggle. . . anything but sleep. Having his own bed has been a blessing for me, and he sleeps better than he ever could in my room as I snore horribly.

I really liked what you said about kids being part of a family, and that every family member has needs that are important.

[identity profile] feydmentia.livejournal.com 2002-06-26 01:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I think it's good that you are doing what YOU think is right and comfortable for you and your child.

My 2 year old daughter slept in the same room as me and my husband her 1st year alongside us in either her bassinet or crib, although there are the nights when she just wouldn't go to bed and we would let her sleep in our bed. Since we moved she still hasn't adjusted to having her own room, but the majority of the week (about 4 of the 7 days) she'll sleep by herself in there.

[identity profile] pywacket.livejournal.com 2002-06-26 02:22 pm (UTC)(link)
thanks!

I think Em will want to sleep with us at times and on her own at times --nothing will ever be rigid, I just want to encourage her to understand privacy and want her to have her own space.

[identity profile] oblomova.livejournal.com 2002-06-26 08:19 pm (UTC)(link)
You know, I slept in a crib in my parents' room until I was about 9 months or so, maybe even younger. But I just couldn't settle in to sleep -- my dad snored hellaciously, for one thing. They finally moved me into my own little cubbyhole room on the other side of the house (after my mom worrying herself silly over SIDS -- not that that isn't something to worry about, I realize). And I slept like, well, a baby from that time on.

I offer this just as further proof that kids will find ways to let you know what they need. And I applaud you and James for being so attuned and thoughtful about it.

[identity profile] ishana.livejournal.com 2002-06-26 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, it seems so simple now to understand that if she is crying it's for a reason, simple & finite! Well, not always so simple or finite, but the cry it out thing just doesn't fit. :)